[ Loki takes the arm he'd crooked for Mobius and, instead, slings it over the other man's shoulders. No escaping now, you've said you'll go Mobius and Loki will not let you back on this island until you look less...
Well. Haggard is the first word that comes to Loki's mind, honestly, but he doubts he looks much better on the well-rested end of things.
Either way. To the docks, to the ferry, to Kirkwall proper, and then Loki gest them a ride to a series of buildings in Hightown... several of them turned to rubble, but those that remain have their windows open. [
[It isn't that all the affection between them has evaporated or anything. It's just been kind of difficult. Between everything happening, and Loki trying to slide back into place as though he'd been there all along, like neither of them changed when both of them very clearly have. Hard to know where he stands with the supposed god, or vice versa.
Though it's still very telling that the first moment Loki got, he went out west in search of Mobius, specifically.
The ride up into Hightown is winding, taking some backroads and side streets to avoid the worst of the damage. Strange to ride past it rather than be in the thick of it helping. Honestly, strange to be here at all. He hasn't done all too much visiting this way ever since Loki disappeared, and he tries to live frugally enough. But Loki likes a certain lifestyle, and Mobius will not comment on it (right now) (yet).]
[ The ride is quiet, and Loki is well aware that of the two of them Mobius appears more... somewhere between uncomfortable and out of place, despite the fact that he'd be considered the closer to a hometown man than Loki would by nearly anyone who'd bother having an opinion on it.
But there's nothing like where they're headed in Lowtown, as far as Loki knows, and so. Amongst the wealthier set they must go.
He watches Mobius, a little. Not so much as to be off-putting, he hopes. Smiles when Mobius makes eye contact.
They have to go around the building - something like a spa, or at least it used to be - to find the entrance and the proprietors, who are hosting and feeding construction workers and painters covered in debris from repairs, plus a variety of other non-wealthy service professionals... all lined up encircling a buffet-style set of tables loaded heavily with food.
This is where the people who work in Hightown but don't live in Hightown tend to go. ]
They take the leftovers to the clinics in Lowtown after the kitchen closes, [ He tells Mobius after they're seated, tucked away at a table with mismatched chairs, in the corner of a courtyard. ]
[It would probably come off as extremely rude to suggest he doesn't give a flying fuck about her husband's estates. So he'll only think it very vehemently and stuff some food in his mouth. Which means the only truly viable thing to come out of his mouth is:] Oh? [Or a sound that otherwise vaguely denotes acknowledgement or even perhaps mild interest.]
It means a lot to her. He's been missing for some time. [ These two statements are more Loki thinking aloud than actively trying to start a conversation about it; subconsciously he is aware that Mobius made interested!noise and might not even know Alexandrie in the first place.
[Far be it for him to suggest it's impossible for those who go missing in wartime to come back alive and well. But he's stepped into a bit of this weird mudpit that's the Lokis and the wife-girlfriend before, so he should probably not open his mouth on the matter.]
[ And then Loki blinks and remembers that this particular topic of the triangle that is him and Alexandrie D'Asgard and Loki D'Asgard is all a bit weird for a lot of people from here, and probably hasn't stopped being a bit weird, even for Mobius.
There's a pause. It could be awkward, but Loki just kind of tilts his head at Mobius and smiles a little. ]
Tell me of what you're excited about, with the rebuilding.
I know that it's a lot of work, [ And it's a good thing that he knows, seeing as how he's been there and helping via getting his hands dirty just like most of everyone else, ] especially with the nearly everyone sleeping outdoors bit, but...
[ He spreads his hands a little. ]
One of the few benefits of destruction is the opportunity to rebuild, repurpose, renew. Is there anything you're hoping will come of that, with the Gallows?
[ Mad respect for your staunch support of introducing all improvements via, committee, Mobius.
Loki just kind of nods; it's not a terribly surprising answer, from Mobius. He's usually, in Loki's opinion, much more interested in what people think will be good for themselves than expressing his own desires. ]
Sometimes... when you ask someone what they want, if they want to do anything different, they don't know how to answer it. But if you come at them with an idea, then there's the reaction. Yes, or no, or uncertainty, either way it is a good starting point.
[He shrugs.] I'm open to hearing ideas, not that it's up to me what the decisions are. I thought things worked well the way they were. Maybe people would like it to look a little less Gallows-y.
Are you saying you are excited for something about all this?
[ Loki takes a bite and considers how best to put it. Eventually: ]
I'm looking forward to it being done, overall, as I imagine most of us in Riftwatch are. To the attack being mostly a memory and a scar, not just a wound, though that[ He gestures with his spoon ] all takes much longer.
But there's also beauty in crafting a new thing from the ruins of the old. So I'm also looking forward to being a part of that, I guess. New things, as part of being someone who is still around.
It'd be nice to eventually rebuild Starkhaven, but that's so far in the future that it's hard to see.
[Similarities! Sort of. Ruins of the old and all.] Excited might not have been the right word, yeah. [Which is his way of wondering what kind of response Loki thought he would get when he first turned the word on Mobius.]
[ Loki nods a little. He can see how one is connected to the other. Also how his word choice would seem weird, but, look, he's trying to be novel about the whole thing. Looking on the bright side without falling immediately into the chaos of delusion. Reeling in the imagination a bit.
Take it day by day.
It's, uh. Sure going some kind of way. ]
Looking forward to felt incorrect, though. I should have been more precise, maybe? What could you find excitement in, conceptually?
[ He shifts his shoulders from side to side, clearly interested in what Mobius understands his question to be. Namely how to look forward when you're uncertain on what is even possible. ]
No, see, you're still thinking excitement, and that's just not a thing for this situation. The looking forward one is a little weird, but it sounds better.
[Loki seems to have a lot of energy for someone who presumably has actually been doing actual physical work. Mobius does not suggest he burn off said energy with more work, and he thinks that's pretty magnanimous of himself. Maybe it's the godliness.]
A little weird? [ That breathy inhale of someone who is uncertain if his feelings should be hurt or not. Because there is something there, something... real and helpful and necessary in his eyes.
Part of the problem of wordsmithing comes from the fact that Loki has negative amounts of experience in dealing with processing collective trauma.
Especially when it is happening to everyone he knows. At the same time.
So he frowns, and he narrows his eyes a little, but he doesn't deny it. It's weird, fine, okay. ]
Is it terrible to want to daydream at a time like this?
Opinions on that will differ from person to person.
[Which is not an answer, but to be fair, he's also relatively sure it's rhetorical.
He focuses on Loki more, because he heard that little inhale, and now Loki looks...offended? Kind of? Is he somehow offended? Mobius spreads his hands.]
Is that what this is? A daydream? Did I say something wrong here?
[ It wasn't rhetorical in his mind though, and now Loki feels more confused than offended... or maybe just hurt at being accurately read from an unfortunate and unexpected angle. He's a little unsure, suddenly, and it flashes across his face. ]
Is that what what no this is lunch. This is lunch, and you and I, and I don't think you said anything wrong exactly but possibly I am... asking the incorrect questions. Or. The unimportant ones.
[ Loki makes a gesture that attempts at gently dismissive, or at the very least a releasing of the weight of guilt in the moment.
Immediately he becomes self-conscious of this, too. ] I've had that problem, before.
[ He wants to talk to Mobius about not really understanding how to work with the monotony that is picking through rubble. Rebuilding from ruin. A series of physical tasks that allow and encourage the mind to wander directly into the dark. Loki has never had to deal with collective survivor's guilt. Loss on a community level.
But.
Mobius is good at people. At sticking around, with something. There's a gravitas there, a sense of being sort of mired in the reality that Loki can't really hope to match.]
[Mobius has found it a point of pride in reading others well. He will swear up and down that it's a gift granted to him from on high. But Loki, Loki who is open like a good book, seems to be written in an incomprehensible cipher ever since he came back.
He sees the flickers of emotion like lit up signs across Loki's face. That part is still easy enough. But he can't read what the actual issue is. Doesn't understand what's being said, what's being asked. Which is then coming back to hurt Loki.
His arms rest on the tabletop, and he tries to relax his shoulders and take a breath.] Okay. Maybe try again with a different question or some different phrasing. What is it, really, that you want to know?
[ Centuries change diction, meaning, context. They're both slightly and not so slightly different people, these days.
Growing pains, etcetera. That's what Loki chalks all this up to. Growth, that he's willing to take the breath and restart in the first place. ]
How do you dream if you can't dream big? How do you look forward instead of being mired in the sadness? Am I... is there something wrong with me, that I would rather do that, right now?
There's nothing wrong with you. [The immediate answer, sure and gentle. Because, good god, there's a lot wrong with a lotta people, but the way to react to something like this, there isn't really a wrong way. Just a way.
So then he has to backtrack and focus on the rest. He rubs his chin.] I don't really know about dreaming big. Plenty of people get by on small dreams. The little hopes. Looking forward is... [Shrug!] Depends on the context, really. Sometimes what helps is having some kind of purpose, something to look forward to, something for you to work towards.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ Loki takes the arm he'd crooked for Mobius and, instead, slings it over the other man's shoulders. No escaping now, you've said you'll go Mobius and Loki will not let you back on this island until you look less...
Well. Haggard is the first word that comes to Loki's mind, honestly, but he doubts he looks much better on the well-rested end of things.
Either way. To the docks, to the ferry, to Kirkwall proper, and then Loki gest them a ride to a series of buildings in Hightown... several of them turned to rubble, but those that remain have their windows open. [
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Though it's still very telling that the first moment Loki got, he went out west in search of Mobius, specifically.
The ride up into Hightown is winding, taking some backroads and side streets to avoid the worst of the damage. Strange to ride past it rather than be in the thick of it helping. Honestly, strange to be here at all. He hasn't done all too much visiting this way ever since Loki disappeared, and he tries to live frugally enough. But Loki likes a certain lifestyle, and Mobius will not comment on it (right now) (yet).]
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But there's nothing like where they're headed in Lowtown, as far as Loki knows, and so. Amongst the wealthier set they must go.
He watches Mobius, a little. Not so much as to be off-putting, he hopes. Smiles when Mobius makes eye contact.
They have to go around the building - something like a spa, or at least it used to be - to find the entrance and the proprietors, who are hosting and feeding construction workers and painters covered in debris from repairs, plus a variety of other non-wealthy service professionals... all lined up encircling a buffet-style set of tables loaded heavily with food.
This is where the people who work in Hightown but don't live in Hightown tend to go. ]
They take the leftovers to the clinics in Lowtown after the kitchen closes, [ He tells Mobius after they're seated, tucked away at a table with mismatched chairs, in the corner of a courtyard. ]
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How is the house, anyway? [He...has no idea if Loki's gone back there, actually.] Did it survive unscathed?
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[ At the question his eyebrows bob a little. ] Alexandrie's apartments. Unscathed, fortunately, at least from anything requiring major repair.
Her husband's estates, however... [ He shakes his head a little. ] Not so fortunate.
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Wait. Does he know her? ]
Have you met Alexandrie, by chance?
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Briefly.
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[ And then Loki blinks and remembers that this particular topic of the triangle that is him and Alexandrie D'Asgard and Loki D'Asgard is all a bit weird for a lot of people from here, and probably hasn't stopped being a bit weird, even for Mobius.
There's a pause. It could be awkward, but Loki just kind of tilts his head at Mobius and smiles a little. ]
Tell me of what you're excited about, with the rebuilding.
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Excited about?
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[ He spreads his hands a little. ]
One of the few benefits of destruction is the opportunity to rebuild, repurpose, renew. Is there anything you're hoping will come of that, with the Gallows?
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Can't say I've thought about doing anything different. Maybe if anyone has suggestions.
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Loki just kind of nods; it's not a terribly surprising answer, from Mobius. He's usually, in Loki's opinion, much more interested in what people think will be good for themselves than expressing his own desires. ]
Sometimes... when you ask someone what they want, if they want to do anything different, they don't know how to answer it. But if you come at them with an idea, then there's the reaction. Yes, or no, or uncertainty, either way it is a good starting point.
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[He shrugs.] I'm open to hearing ideas, not that it's up to me what the decisions are. I thought things worked well the way they were. Maybe people would like it to look a little less Gallows-y.
Are you saying you are excited for something about all this?
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[ Loki takes a bite and considers how best to put it. Eventually: ]
I'm looking forward to it being done, overall, as I imagine most of us in Riftwatch are. To the attack being mostly a memory and a scar, not just a wound, though that [ He gestures with his spoon ] all takes much longer.
But there's also beauty in crafting a new thing from the ruins of the old. So I'm also looking forward to being a part of that, I guess. New things, as part of being someone who is still around.
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[Similarities! Sort of. Ruins of the old and all.] Excited might not have been the right word, yeah. [Which is his way of wondering what kind of response Loki thought he would get when he first turned the word on Mobius.]
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Take it day by day.
It's, uh. Sure going some kind of way. ]
Looking forward to felt incorrect, though. I should have been more precise, maybe? What could you find excitement in, conceptually?
[ He shifts his shoulders from side to side, clearly interested in what Mobius understands his question to be. Namely how to look forward when you're uncertain on what is even possible. ]
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[Loki seems to have a lot of energy for someone who presumably has actually been doing actual physical work. Mobius does not suggest he burn off said energy with more work, and he thinks that's pretty magnanimous of himself. Maybe it's the godliness.]
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Part of the problem of wordsmithing comes from the fact that Loki has negative amounts of experience in dealing with processing collective trauma.
Especially when it is happening to everyone he knows. At the same time.
So he frowns, and he narrows his eyes a little, but he doesn't deny it. It's weird, fine, okay. ]
Is it terrible to want to daydream at a time like this?
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[Which is not an answer, but to be fair, he's also relatively sure it's rhetorical.
He focuses on Loki more, because he heard that little inhale, and now Loki looks...offended? Kind of? Is he somehow offended? Mobius spreads his hands.]
Is that what this is? A daydream? Did I say something wrong here?
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Is that what what no this is lunch. This is lunch, and you and I, and I don't think you said anything wrong exactly but possibly I am... asking the incorrect questions. Or. The unimportant ones.
[ Loki makes a gesture that attempts at gently dismissive, or at the very least a releasing of the weight of guilt in the moment.
Immediately he becomes self-conscious of this, too. ] I've had that problem, before.
[ He wants to talk to Mobius about not really understanding how to work with the monotony that is picking through rubble. Rebuilding from ruin. A series of physical tasks that allow and encourage the mind to wander directly into the dark. Loki has never had to deal with collective survivor's guilt. Loss on a community level.
But.
Mobius is good at people. At sticking around, with something. There's a gravitas there, a sense of being sort of mired in the reality that Loki can't really hope to match.]
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He sees the flickers of emotion like lit up signs across Loki's face. That part is still easy enough. But he can't read what the actual issue is. Doesn't understand what's being said, what's being asked. Which is then coming back to hurt Loki.
His arms rest on the tabletop, and he tries to relax his shoulders and take a breath.] Okay. Maybe try again with a different question or some different phrasing. What is it, really, that you want to know?
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Growing pains, etcetera. That's what Loki chalks all this up to. Growth, that he's willing to take the breath and restart in the first place. ]
How do you dream if you can't dream big? How do you look forward instead of being mired in the sadness? Am I... is there something wrong with me, that I would rather do that, right now?
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So then he has to backtrack and focus on the rest. He rubs his chin.] I don't really know about dreaming big. Plenty of people get by on small dreams. The little hopes. Looking forward is... [Shrug!] Depends on the context, really. Sometimes what helps is having some kind of purpose, something to look forward to, something for you to work towards.