what if...I took a basic meme premise and made it fucky - for icasm

[favoriteanalyst]

[He keeps things from Loki, of course.

Not the important things, the pertinent things. Everyone has their secrets, and no one is ever truly an open book. (Regardless of how well he knows Loki. Extenuating circumstances.) And while Loki has slowly gotten to learn more about how the TVA works, he isn't privy to every detail. He's genuinely curious sometimes. And maliciously curious at other times. Mobius tries to strike a balance, let him know or learn on his own the things he can, steer clear of the things he shouldn't.

So while he's Mobius' partner, something of a junior agent in his own right with several, several caveats, he also doesn't need to know about every aspect of his job.

It's harder when it's another Loki variant that comes across his desk. Sylvie is a point of...contention? A special case, that's for certain. Dangerous, yes, and well worth his involvement, but...different. Not, as such, a case at all anymore, not really. But this one's fairly cut and dry. He frowns when he looks through the casefile. Because Loki shouldn't be anywhere near this one.

Variant L1952 took a different turn after being picked up by Thanos. A mix of biding his time too long, the effects of the mind stone, some powerful persuasion, and a budding army of zealots - this one turned from desperate survivalist wannabe conqueror into a fullblown child of the Mad Titan. It's not pretty, the way things devolve for the variant from there, at least as far into the branch as they've been able to track. The trickiest part is how this one seems to elude their immediate grasp. He's slippery and powerful and needs another set of eyes to make a plan of action to find him and take him in with as little injury to the hunters as possible. The scepter is a tremendous artifact with a stone of great ability if used right (and he can see it now, a trophy in Ravonna's office, and the thought hurts more than he thinks it should), and even when Gamora and Nebula aren't around, or Proxima Midnight and the rest, there's still a Chitauri army to contend with.

It's the kind of thing where he realizes he could use Loki's insight on this, too. Not just for it being a Loki variant - Mobius has seen many come and go without issue before. There's a combination of who it is, and the circumstances surrounding him, and not to mention Thanos in play, that makes him realize that a little help might be prudent for expediency's sake.

He doesn't want to let Loki know. It's...delicate. The kind of thing that his Loki is still relatively fresh from, that might still bleed as an open wound. But Loki's a nosy little shit, and he has noticed a new case that he has decidedly not been specifically on, so there are questions. And he hates this. But. But.

Stonyfaced, he hands Loki the file.] You're not gonna like it.

Comments

[favoriteanalyst]

[The light touches are enough to get a pleasant rumble out of Mobius, between that and the extra blanket of warmth and this feeling of care and protection.]

It's not your fault. You've never done this before. [Not really. Not with this kind of seriousness.] I don't think anyone ever actually knows what they're doing. We think we do, from the stories and songs, but when you actually get to it, it's...it all just slips right through your fingers. Stumbling around blind until you find the lightswitch.

[icasm]

[ There's some wondering of whose fault it is, then, but asking that aloud feels a little too much like whining to be strictly useful and so it stays in his head, where it belongs. That Mobius thinks no one knows is both comforting and not; Casey didn't know what a fish was, so maybe those who work for the TVA are just uniquely naive about things.

Which should be fine, right? It means they're on relatively even footing. Yet he doesn't think that Mobius is as concerned with fucking it all up horribly as Loki is.

He sighs a little. ]

How long does finding the light switch take?

[ He suspects the answer is 'it depends'. On a lot of things that are beyond his own control at this moment. But he'd like to feel less...unmoored, about all of this, at some point. Certain about it might be asking too much but less scared, less jumpy? That'd be nice. ]

You don't really have to answer that.

[ A beat. ]

I love you.

[ Because it seems worth repeating. ]

[favoriteanalyst]

[It's hard to answer it anyway when Loki repeats the three words. It feels like his heart swells and stutters at the same time, allows the warmth to start seeping in to replace the cold that so gripped him. He lays a hand overtop Loki's.]

I love you.

[Easier the second time around, yet no less meaningful.]

I don't know if I've ever loved anyone in my life, y'know, before. [Seems like he might've, maybe. Family, kids, dog. Don't think about it.] But I haven't while I've been here. I haven't loved anyone the way I love you. So it's brand new to me, too.

[icasm]

[ Loki realizes that he'd presumed that Mobius had, at some point prior to this, loved others. Or at least been infatuated. He also realizes more or less at the same time that those are not equivalent things, really, and he should probably stop considering them to be such.

He makes a humming sound of consideration, tangling his fingers with Mobius'. ]

Do you ever wonder about your life before the TVA?

[favoriteanalyst]

Yeah. [The word is heavy in spite of how casual it is. Like dropping a stone from a height. He wonders if he feels heavy against Loki, or if Loki's physiology negates any of that.]

Hard not to. I try not to. But I do.

[He doesn't elaborate from there. He's not sure where he'd start if it's not asked. Loki asked a question, and he answered. It's the opposite of Loki, isn't it? Who peered into his potential future to learn what could have been and now, for him, will never be. There's a desire to know and a fear of what might be found.]

[icasm]

[ Loki wonders why Mobius tries not to, what it is he's so resistant towards learning about himself, about his past. But then again... there's a good chance that learning about his past would only make him feel upset at being forced to forget.

Maybe ignorance is bliss, here in this situation.

So he doesn't ask. He figures if Mobius wants him to know something specific, he'll tell Loki, but digging at this otherwise doesn't feel comfortable or fair at the moment. They can talk about something else.

Or he can tease him about it. ]

What if you turned out to be the inventor of the jet-ski?

[favoriteanalyst]

You think I haven't looked into who invented the jet ski? I'm definitely not that guy. Don't look a thing like him.

[The awful part about it is, humor aside, it means now he's thinking about it, and he would very much prefer not to be. Who was he before? Did he do anything noteworthy? Was he just some guy? What was his nexus event? Who were his loved ones?]

Anyway, it doesn't really matter, does it? My timeline would've gotten pruned. [In theory. That's how it's supposed to go. Not that everything always goes how it's supposed to in the TVA.

Maybe it's worse that it does matter. Because if he's a variant, that means somewhere out there is a sacred version of himself. How could he not know that? How could any of them been left unaware all along? Surely there would have been other variants of someone in the TVA. At some point. You can't just delete a whole person from the timeline. Right?]

Worried there might've been someone else before you?

[icasm]

You could've been his boyfriend, [ Loki teases gently.

But he stays silent when Mobius says it doesn't matter. That his timeline would have been pruned anyway. He's thinking about how he'll never see his Thor again, how there's no reality in which he fits, in which Sylvie fits, and wonders how long it took her to realize that.

Wonders when it's really going to hit him that everything he knew is probably gone. ]

I don't think worried is the word...

[ So what is the word, exactly? Curious? Probably moreso than anything else. ]

I just would like to know what your type is, I suppose. [ Not so he can be that. Not exactly. But so he knows what to compare himself to, because he's gonna compare himself to something, even if it is just imaginary. ]

[favoriteanalyst]

[It's...indelicate of him, the way he's treating the topic. Loki's trying, bless his nervous heart, but it pricks at Mobius like he's touching a live wire every time he comes close to the realization that his life as he knows it is a lie. There's a possibility that those memories could be restored, and somehow that's even worse, that there might be a choice to make. How does he reconcile with the idea that he's ever been anyone but who he is?

He tries to relax, pulls one of Loki's hands up to kiss his palm, down to the pulse point of his wrist, tries to make the sigh out of him to be one of anything but frustration at himself.]

Pretty sure you're my type. That the concept of Loki is my type, one way or the other.

[icasm]

[ Loki blinks at that. Obviously. Obviously. It makes sense; Mobius was interested in Loki variants from jump. He knew everything about him, about his place in the Sacred Timeline. He's dealt with other versions. He's...

He shuts his eyes. Breathes. Why is this so unsettling? To be boiled down to a concept, perhaps, but that shouldn't upset him. Should it?

Maybe it doesn't matter how it started. Mobius loves him. That's important. That matters.

(Still, he knows this is going to bother him.) ]

Too bad you didn't pick one to fall for that still calls Asgard home. You'd have made a very fetching royal consort.

[favoriteanalyst]

[There's a moment of hesitation, and maybe it was a mistake to ask for this as a setup, with Mobius laid back against his tall boyfriend, because he can't look him in the face without a good bit of twisting that his middle is not currently ready for. Still. It's enough to worry him. That he'd misspoken? Said something wrong. Or Loki was simply processing the sentiment?

But then Loki has to go and say that, and at least for Mobius, it breaks some of the tension.]

Oh, yeah, I can see that going over real well. I think I'd stand out of a harem lineup like a sore thumb, and fetching I most certainly am not. Your brother's got better taste in consort-y companionship, frankly.

[icasm]

[ There's a soft snort from behind Mobius, and some of the tension leaks away from Loki's shoulders as he relaxes further into the bed. ]

A stranger decision in a long line of rather strange decisions.

[ He presses his fingers in-between Mobius', curling his hand around the other man's. ]

There'd be some talk, certainly. Nothing you couldn't handle, I'm sure.

[favoriteanalyst]

I can handle whispers behind my back and a gossipy court. Yeah. You'd have to get me all dressed for the part, though. What do you think, fancy silks and soft leathers? Put me in green so everyone knows I'm yours?

[There's something that feels very pleasant about being Loki's. About saying it in such a way. Makes him feel warmer in the same way the extra blanket and Loki's bodily presence do.]

And then I'll have to prove myself or earn my keep or something, probably, and I don't know how I'd do that, but it won't be through a fight.

[icasm]

Fancy silks and soft leathers are the uniform, more or less. Green, definitely. What is your favorite color?

[ Please don't say khaki. ]

Hm. I doubt that would be difficult. Just put you in front of a psychological puzzle and you'd be certain to wow them all.

Not everyone has to know how to fight.

[ He does wish that Mobius did know, but that doesn't exactly have room in this little fantasy. ]

[favoriteanalyst]

[Statistically speaking, khaki has to be someone's favorite color!]

Think I'm pretty fond of orange. Not Miss Minutes orange, like a sunset kind of orange. Don't know that I'd look any good in that, though. Better stick with green.

[A psychological puzzle, huh? He has to laugh. Yeah, how many of those come up to wow everyone with his ability to read someone?] So, Heimdall, got it. [Talk about a puzzle, honestly.] Might be better to know how to fight in that case; I'll have an easier time.

[icasm]

Orange can be a lovely accent color. Blacks, greens, browns, blues, oranges would all work well in concert with one another.

[ None of this conversation matters, none of it is...real or of any consequence, but Loki does wonder what sort of style Mobius would have if left to his own devices. ] I wouldn't mind if you learned how to fight, but it would have to be your choice.

[favoriteanalyst]

[Maybe it doesn't really matter. Are they ever going to go to any version of Asgard that won't be immediately fucked up, and they could exist for a time? No. Maybe not. Probably not. Maybe. But it still feels nice to think about. Better than other things. Although:]

Could be I could do a little more out there. Knowing I don't always have hunters at my back. Not that I'm saying I would've had a chance against him, but...

[icasm]

Who would you have teach you?

[ Would Loki like it if Mobius knew how to fight, how to at least protect himself in the most basic sense? Definitely.

Does he think Mobius will do it if it's not wholly the other man's idea? No. ]

[favoriteanalyst]

You, obviously. I'll feel less like an embarrassment if it's you. You fight plenty well without magic helping you out. What, did you think I'd ask B-15? She will break me over her knee. She might even not meant to do it.

[icasm]

There is an amount of failure that goes hand in hand with being taught anything properly, [ he points out, but Loki is warmed that he would be Mobius' first choice for teaching him to fight.

He takes a deep breath, feeling the weight of Mobius against his chest and reveling in this small gesture of closeness. He can count on his fingers the number of times he's sat like this with any lover; it's not a two-digit number. ]

[favoriteanalyst]

Well, yeah, but you won't break me over your knee. You'll help me up and give me some sarcastic quip and then go again. I guess. I won't ever be as good as you without magic, and I won't even ever be as good as a hunter, but it'd be something. More than nothing.

Not that I'm about to hop up and be able to do much at the moment.

[icasm]

Sometimes it's a little annoying how well you know me.

[ Mostly Loki is kidding about that, actually. It's nice to be...seen? ]

No, you'll have to rest.

[favoriteanalyst]

Hope you're prepared for me being a terrible patient. And getting up to fetch me things. Fussy nurses, probably. You don't have to stay if you don't want. But I'd...I'd like it if you did.

[icasm]

If you'd like me to stay then I'll stay; the rest, I can handle.

[ Fussy nurses, fussy Mobius. Loki knows he's not much better when he's laid low with an ailment or injury, honestly, so he views this as just desserts from the universe. ]

Do you have to spend all your recovery time in this room, however?

[favoriteanalyst]

[That alone puts Mobius more at ease. Having Loki around is as much about making sure Loki's okay as Mobius, if he's honest.]

Well...guess that's up to the medical professionals. If they aren't worried about infection or my insides being too scrambled, I can probably get released to my place. Which'll be much cozier for the both of us.