The more the merrier. Starts to feel a little empty with less people. And we don't have to call it anything at all, so he doesn't have to worry on that end. But if someone like Barrow ever needed a safe haven, he'd be welcome in a heartbeat, that's all I'm saying.
[ crazy eyes. alright. maybe he’ll check on that later. the pause hangs, a moment where the crystal might've cut off. this is a stupid thing to ask, a fool worm to fish before rooming with the man. oughta let it lie, ]
What d’you call it?
[ can't. vanya's separation from the order has always been cut clear. and whatever he thinks of barrow's choices, cedric knows where they led him. mobius remains something of a question. throws around templar, for all he didn’t answer the call; didn’t stand with the march.
but he's gone white, but he's gotta be pushing fifty. but there are a lot of reasons he might be here instead. ]
[For all that's going on in Cedric's head, unspoken, all the nervous threads and tendrils reaching maybe where they shouldn't, it's really terribly simple on the other end. Mobius might catch the bare hint of tension in the words, but if there's something else going on not being spoken, he's not aware of it. It's just rooming assignments. Bound to cause some friction but better--for some--that it isn't tents outside.
So his brow furrows a little as he takes the question at face value, breathes a little laugh.] I wasn't planning on giving the room a name. And 'safe haven for people mages don't particularly like' doesn't exactly roll off the tongue.
[Hm! That's a question he wasn't really expecting right this moment.]
Not entirely sure that's relevant. [It's deeply personal, and Maker knows he's never been keen to talk about himself.] Unless you think it is. To our living situation.
I like to think it's a matter of faith. The Maker's hand and Andraste's light guided me here. Now, I don't always feel like I'm making a difference, don't always feel like I'm making an impact, but I saw the writing on the wall, as it were, and I've stayed here since.
Leaving the Order, that was also a matter of faith. Kinda more in the opposite direction. Had a lot of questions unanswered, a lot of heartache, not a small amount of anger thrown in. Honestly, it might've been a lot of stubbornness that kept me in it for as long as I was after the war started, but there was a moment...
[He lets that drift off, some quiet reminiscing. Trying not to feel the same sting.]
Had to do a lot of reevaluating after that moment, of myself, my place in the world, my relationship with my faith.
[ mobius drifts, and he lets the quiet sit, the story fall over him. there was a moment,
there have been a lot of moments. war's made of them. anger, this thing in his chest, in mobius'; it compresses. you can push it into another shape. (can't you?)
there are moments. cedric oughta be here, in this one. ]
Thank you. [ for whatever that cost to share. heartache, anger. ] 'S weird, sometimes. Not having a Sister here. A Mother. Know there's clergy in the city, but it's still — when you got questions, it's just you out there, y'know?
[He doesn't talk about the moment. Or the moments, of building to the boiling over point. Not directly. Not the things locked behind his ribs: the hopelessness, helplessness, anger, despair; the scar tissue of hope beaten back again and again, festering. The moments brought upon him to make him who he is. A better version of himself, he hopes. A version Andraste would approve of.
Maybe, if anyone, other Templars would understand best. And maybe that's why they don't tend to talk in much detail.
Maybe Cedric needs it. Time will tell.]
If you've got questions, I'm happy to discuss them with you. I know that's not the same as consulting your Circle's Mother for theological niggles, but I like the topic well enough, personally. Can't say my views have always been on the straightest and narrowest paths, though. Had my knuckles rapped a good many times as a boy for "talking back" to the Sisters when I asked something they didn't have a good answer to.
Mostly got me for daydreams. [ but it's kind of him to offer. ] Doubt Nevarran Chant sounds straight'n narrow to Marchers, anyway. Y'ever think for becoming a Brother? Back in th'day.
Oh, would've if I could've, maybe. But it wasn't the path for me. Not at the time. And now...the Chantry's got to sort itself out one way or another first before I ever think about that.
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crystals; post-room assignments
[ nell included. that cedric probably would've swapped for vanya, regardless, doesn't need looking in the eye ]
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[ a pause. careful: ]
Dunno that's what he'd want t'call it. Templars. Think... it'd mean something t'him, if that weren't why.
[ it's part of it. obviously it is: with voss, and rowntree, and averesch, and anyone who fought the war. but other rooms would've had him. ]
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[ crazy eyes. alright. maybe he’ll check on that later. the pause hangs, a moment where the crystal might've cut off. this is a stupid thing to ask, a fool worm to fish before rooming with the man. oughta let it lie, ]
What d’you call it?
[ can't. vanya's separation from the order has always been cut clear. and whatever he thinks of barrow's choices, cedric knows where they led him. mobius remains something of a question. throws around templar, for all he didn’t answer the call; didn’t stand with the march.
but he's gone white, but he's gotta be pushing fifty. but there are a lot of reasons he might be here instead. ]
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So his brow furrows a little as he takes the question at face value, breathes a little laugh.] I wasn't planning on giving the room a name. And 'safe haven for people mages don't particularly like' doesn't exactly roll off the tongue.
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[ pallows? wouldn't go that far. not without knowing. a breath out, steadying: ]
Why'd you leave th'Order, Messere?
[ if he even feels he has. ]
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Not entirely sure that's relevant. [It's deeply personal, and Maker knows he's never been keen to talk about himself.] Unless you think it is. To our living situation.
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Not gonna force you. Only —
'S a big change, being here. Different. S'pose I'd like to understand what folks find in it.
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Leaving the Order, that was also a matter of faith. Kinda more in the opposite direction. Had a lot of questions unanswered, a lot of heartache, not a small amount of anger thrown in. Honestly, it might've been a lot of stubbornness that kept me in it for as long as I was after the war started, but there was a moment...
[He lets that drift off, some quiet reminiscing. Trying not to feel the same sting.]
Had to do a lot of reevaluating after that moment, of myself, my place in the world, my relationship with my faith.
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there have been a lot of moments. war's made of them. anger, this thing in his chest, in mobius'; it compresses. you can push it into another shape. (can't you?)
there are moments. cedric oughta be here, in this one. ]
Thank you. [ for whatever that cost to share. heartache, anger. ] 'S weird, sometimes. Not having a Sister here. A Mother. Know there's clergy in the city, but it's still — when you got questions, it's just you out there, y'know?
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Maybe, if anyone, other Templars would understand best. And maybe that's why they don't tend to talk in much detail.
Maybe Cedric needs it. Time will tell.]
If you've got questions, I'm happy to discuss them with you. I know that's not the same as consulting your Circle's Mother for theological niggles, but I like the topic well enough, personally. Can't say my views have always been on the straightest and narrowest paths, though. Had my knuckles rapped a good many times as a boy for "talking back" to the Sisters when I asked something they didn't have a good answer to.
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