what if...I took a basic meme premise and made it fucky - for icasm

[favoriteanalyst]

[He keeps things from Loki, of course.

Not the important things, the pertinent things. Everyone has their secrets, and no one is ever truly an open book. (Regardless of how well he knows Loki. Extenuating circumstances.) And while Loki has slowly gotten to learn more about how the TVA works, he isn't privy to every detail. He's genuinely curious sometimes. And maliciously curious at other times. Mobius tries to strike a balance, let him know or learn on his own the things he can, steer clear of the things he shouldn't.

So while he's Mobius' partner, something of a junior agent in his own right with several, several caveats, he also doesn't need to know about every aspect of his job.

It's harder when it's another Loki variant that comes across his desk. Sylvie is a point of...contention? A special case, that's for certain. Dangerous, yes, and well worth his involvement, but...different. Not, as such, a case at all anymore, not really. But this one's fairly cut and dry. He frowns when he looks through the casefile. Because Loki shouldn't be anywhere near this one.

Variant L1952 took a different turn after being picked up by Thanos. A mix of biding his time too long, the effects of the mind stone, some powerful persuasion, and a budding army of zealots - this one turned from desperate survivalist wannabe conqueror into a fullblown child of the Mad Titan. It's not pretty, the way things devolve for the variant from there, at least as far into the branch as they've been able to track. The trickiest part is how this one seems to elude their immediate grasp. He's slippery and powerful and needs another set of eyes to make a plan of action to find him and take him in with as little injury to the hunters as possible. The scepter is a tremendous artifact with a stone of great ability if used right (and he can see it now, a trophy in Ravonna's office, and the thought hurts more than he thinks it should), and even when Gamora and Nebula aren't around, or Proxima Midnight and the rest, there's still a Chitauri army to contend with.

It's the kind of thing where he realizes he could use Loki's insight on this, too. Not just for it being a Loki variant - Mobius has seen many come and go without issue before. There's a combination of who it is, and the circumstances surrounding him, and not to mention Thanos in play, that makes him realize that a little help might be prudent for expediency's sake.

He doesn't want to let Loki know. It's...delicate. The kind of thing that his Loki is still relatively fresh from, that might still bleed as an open wound. But Loki's a nosy little shit, and he has noticed a new case that he has decidedly not been specifically on, so there are questions. And he hates this. But. But.

Stonyfaced, he hands Loki the file.] You're not gonna like it.

Comments

[icasm]

[ Loki is in the middle of drinking his own water when Mobius calls bullshit; he gives the other man's hand a squeeze and raises his eyebrows but does not design to give an immediate response to that.

He's drinking. Give him a second. ]

More okay than you are, [ is confirmed once he's set the glass back down. Instead of continuing to loom over Mobius, feeling ineffectual, he moves to perch himself on the very edge of the bed and closer to Mobius' knee than his hip. To be at his hip would be to sit too close to the wound, and he's feeling... well. Concerned. Nosy, too. He wants to look at it, despite having no medical training of his own beyond what it takes to stop someone from bleeding out on a battlefield, and that's not exactly a helpful desire or safe instinct to indulge at the moment, by Loki's measure. ] I didn't let them sedate me. [ He gives a half shrug. ] You, on the other hand, passed out.

[ Not that he thinks the doctors would have allowed Mobius the choice. ]

I'm glad you weren't, actually, hit and run over by a truck. [ That would involve resetting various broken bones, of which Mobius has none currently, and Loki is more than happy to take that boon where he can get it. Healing from broken bones is a miserable, time-consuming experience he wouldn't wish on anyone he gave two shits about.

His free hand comes up, brushes some strand of Mobius' hair from his brow, and then just... stays on his face. Loki's nostrils flare, and his eyes get a little wider than they were a moment before.

He is not going to cry now, he tells himself, and knows it is going to be a near thing at best. ]

[favoriteanalyst]

Was bleeding a little harder than you. [Rest assured that Loki was definitely bleeding a concerning amount at a rapid rate. No one will deny that.] It's supposed to be on the inside, not. [He lifts his free hand for a moment, as if to wave the thought aside.] Everywhere.

[He'd like to admonish Loki for not taking something, but he thinks he gets it, or at least some of it. Later, when he's a little bit more present in himself, he'll have to ask Loki about the healing without magic. The TVA isn't medieval about it; they can take care of their own. But with science and technology and medicine and not, decidedly, anything magical.

Nor will he suggest he might've liked the truck a little better than watching someone with Loki's face make that horrible expression and gleefully tear into him. Just personal preference at that point.

Loki's gentle and caring, and Mobius closes his eyes for a moment, leaning his face into the hand cradling there. It's a soft and cozy comfort that maybe he wouldn't necessarily indulge himself in but sees no reason not to now. When he blinks his eyes back open, they lock on Loki's, that expression, and Mobius sighs a little.]

Hey. I'm here. 's okay. Won't be dying on your watch, Nurse Loki.

[icasm]

[ Loki hasn't yet fully processed just how fucked up it was for Mobius to have to deal with being attacked by someone with his lover's face. It'll be a new and terrible realization for him later, probably, and more evidence that he should have fought harder to keep Mobius back at the TVA, where he could have been kept safe.

Paired with the knowledge that nothing he could have said or done would have been likely to convince Mobius to stay behind means it'll be so much fun to attempt to avoid discussing at some following point in time. ]

You shouldn't be allowed to tell me it's okay when it very much is not okay. [ His voice comes out steadier than he feels. His hand remains where it is. Nothing, as far as he can measure, about today was 'okay'. It was a shitshow from beginning to end, and if he properly worked for the TVA, he's sure that he'd be given a box to collect his various personal items in and told to get the hell out.

Fortunately, or unfortunately? He doesn't, and hasn't been given the boot. Likely those higher up have simply decided to just set the blame at Mobius' feet instead. Once he's better, probably. His brain has wrapped itself around the idea that Mobius' odds in the likelihood of long-term survival probably go down the longer he's involved with Loki, a Loki, any Loki not just him, and that thought is currently at war with everything in him that just wants to keep the man safe for fuck's sake.

He doesn't know what to do with it. How to get it to stop or resolve itself into some thought he can actually use. So for a moment he just stares at Mobius, throat working around thoughts that won't come out from behind his teeth, and then he leans forward (carefully, mindful of the wound and the healing and all of it) and bends his lanky frame until he can kiss Mobius on the lips. Loki's breath comes out shakily afterward, but he doesn't immediately straighten up or pull away. ]

[favoriteanalyst]

[When he's a little more cognizant of the details around him and processing the implications, he will likely make heavier note of the eye color. Contrast it to blue, to sparkling blue, to icy blue, to glowing dancing unhinged blue.

But not, obviously, right this moment. Because Loki's right. Nothing's actually okay, save for the fact that they're somehow alive. And the rest of their team is dead. The whole thing went south, even if he doesn't have any answers to how it could've gone better, honestly, and he's going to be responsible.

They'll burn that bridge when they get there, possibly while in the middle of crossing it.

Right now he's focused on how upset Loki looks. How there's a lot going on inside his head and has chosen not to express any of it in words. Given that it means a kiss, Mobius can't exactly complain, though it means he can't do much to help with the internal war. He's not in a place where he can pin Loki down with a look and deduce his thoughts at a glance. He's in a place where there's a tickle to Loki's hair where it brushes, where he adores his partner, where one simple kiss is the best thing he's felt in days, where he can see Loki trying not to come apart at the seams.

He reaches his free hand up to brush back some of that hair, a small mimic of Loki's earlier action.]

And either you shouldn't be allowed to be so warm, or I'm not allowed to be so cold. C'mere. [He doesn't scoot very much, but the intent is there at least. Making fractionally more room on the bed.] You'll be careful.

[icasm]

[ It would be, not easy exactly, but a comforting thing to express what's going on in his head and have Mobius take it apart, piece by piece, until Loki on longer felt uncertain about how things might go. Mobius is good at that, he knows.

But there's a part of him that is blaming himself for the way this went, for dead...not friends, exactly, because it goes Mobius and B-15 and but people who would've listened to him, for the trouble Mobius will definitely be in once it's been decided that he's well enough to be in trouble. That part of him does not desire absolution. It just wants to be dismayed, angry, hurt. Afraid.

So he'll indulge it, for now, and will not ask Mobius to help him work through it. Not as long as he's in this bed.

It'll probably be fine.

Loki sets his hip down against the mattress carefully, putting one arm beneath is head and the other laces its fingers with Mobius' and rests on his chest. ]

You are cold. [ As used to colder temps as Loki is, he hadn't really processed it at first. He presses his nose to Mobius' temple, before following that gesture with a kiss, and breathes in the scent of the other man beneath the hospital cleansers on his skin. ]

[favoriteanalyst]

[It probably won't be fine, but he prefers to think of it being fine instead. Just because it'll feel better for the time being that way.

Because it feels better already to have Loki pretending like he can relax in this bed with him, pressed to him, gently kissing him. Warm and comforting. Some kind of magical beacon of hope or something like that. Better than ice and snow beneath him, cutting wind.

Doesn't want to think about it. Can't help but to think about it, under the circumstances. Mobius breathes in as deep as he can stand to, holds it for a moment. Considers his words.]

Is he gone?

[icasm]

Yes.

[ As much as anyone that the TVA deals can be gone. He was processed, put in front of a judge, sent to the End of Time. Without his staff and thus the source of a lot of his power. His timeline has been weeded out. It's all been neatly handled, on that end.

Doesn't seem very fair by Loki's measure. The variant was responsible for so much death, so much suffering. To maybe survive Alioth and go on about his business (kind of) seems like too gentle a response.

But he knows? Suspects, at least, that Mobius takes some form of comfort in the way that the TVA handled dangerous people. How could he not, after being a part of that system for some countless measure of time?

He shifts a little, kisses Mobius' cheek. ]

He's gone.

[favoriteanalyst]

[Mobius melts into the mattress a little more, nods at the confirmation. Closes his eyes and tries not to see that look of pain-joy-hatred-ecstacy-madness behind his lids. Shivers in spite of himself.]

Good. Good. That one was a real menace. [He turns his head enough to about be nose to nose with Loki. His Loki. His Loki that he recognizes, and yet, for a split second, he thinks he sees--]

He hurt you. [Hurt both of them, deeply, but that's not the point he wants to consider.] So he can rot for all I care.

[icasm]

[ When Mobius shivers Loki moves the arm under his head to snake beneath and around Mobius's shoulders. Keeping them close to one another. It worries him, this lingering coldness, but he tries telling himself it's probably normal, all things considered.

They should get him a heavier blanket though. If that didn't mean moving, he'd do it himself, now. ]

He was insane, [ Loki states simply, and then scoffs through his nose. ] He hurt you worse. I'm not inclined to forgive him of that, but I feel like 'maybe being eaten by Alioth' is not a strong enough sentence.

[favoriteanalyst]

[He manages to shift a little more, almost a roll, not quite on his side but not quite on his back, whatever, good enough. It lets him nuzzle his face into Loki's shoulder. Because it's nice to be held. It's...nice not to have to ask for it. Because he wanted it, but making those words happen, it shouldn't be hard, but it is. There's so much to say and so much not to say.]

Maybe if we got him sat down at a table, maybe if I could talk to him, I could've gotten somewhere. [And maybe that's too optimistic. He's seen many a Loki, knows that there are some that just aren't worth the effort. Still. The possibility was there. In spite of everything.] We lost a lot of good people to him. [In spite of that, for instance.] Shit.

[icasm]

[ Oh. This is nice. This is helping that gnawing sensation in the pit of his stomach, the way that Mobius has his face against Loki's shoulder, and even though it's been ages since Loki has wanted to take care of anyone, he wants to take care of Mobius now. Protect him from all manner of things, help him to heal and to rest. ]

Maybe. [ A breath. That shit is something, isn't it? Something Loki should be mindful of. ] Maybe he would have just attempted to kill you over and over for the attempt.

I don't know, Mobius. He's crazy, and not just in the way that all Lokis are crazy. [ A lot has gone wrong there. ] I'm not saying it's impossible, I just... don't like the odds. [ That something terrible would happen, that Mobius would get hurt, that Loki, child of Thanos, would enact some long con just to get close to people he could later find ways to destroy. ]

Not being able to convince him to do something different isn't a failure on your part, you know, [ he adds softly. ]

[favoriteanalyst]

Just...thought I saw something. [And even that could have been a ruse. Or, no matter what he saw, that variant was simply too far gone to reason with. He gets that. And trying or not trying wouldn't have changed what happened.] Or maybe he was just pissed I was insulting his dad.

[Flippant, yes, but even the barest attempt at sardonic humor feels better than wallowing in what's going to gnaw away at him for a while. He squeezes Loki's hand.]

You okay? [So clearly time to change topics/switch tactics.] I mean emotionally. Can't be an easy thing fighting yourself. [A dark mirror, something he could have become with a change, by chance.]

[icasm]

[ Should Loki ask what it was, exactly, that Mobius thought he saw? He's of two minds about it (or at least two, anyway). One, he is curious about the ability to...rehabilitate versions of himself, for lack of a better word. Does the possibility exist in every variation, as Mobius seems to believe, or are there thresholds that once crossed cannot be traversed again?

Two, he doesn't want to feed whatever is going on in Mobius' mind about what is or isn't his fault, in this scenario.

He squeezes Mobius' hand back, raising the shoulder not on the bed in a sort of half-shrug. ]

I don't know. [ Honesty. ] Mostly I'm angry right now. [ Because Mobius was hurt, because people died, because it was all so unnecessary in the greater scheme of things. ] I suppose later I'll be more worried about the implications there. Wonder how easily he fell into the oblivion of Thanos' promises.

[favoriteanalyst]

We know his history. [Both in the fact that Loki's lived that life, more or less, until the turning point, and the files on the variant.] It's... [Awful. Not too far from the truth that Loki lived, too. Mobius huffs out a sigh, and even that makes him wince, just a little.] You're not like that. And you aren't going to be.

[He's sure of it. Absolutely certain. He's far beyond the reach of any Thanos. But Mobius' brow furrows, sorting through everything as best as it can. The anger's...mild, his own anger that is. It's a subtle and slow thing, and he's sure it'll rear its ugly head at some point down the line, probably during something completely unrelated. Now, though, it's more just resignation. Exhaustion. The feeling of failure. Did the ends justify the means?]

Would've gone worse if you weren't there. [He can't tell Loki not to be angry. But it's a different expression of anger, and he doesn't quite know what to do with it. Wants to soothe, doesn't have the means.] 'm not gonna say it's okay again. It's not. It sucks. But I'm here. Does that...help?

[icasm]

[ Knowing an arrangement of facts about someone's life in a timeline isn't the same as knowing when he made the decision to stay there. To become one of Thanos' children, to further that motive into the universe himself, with his own hands. And it's so easily said that he won't make the same decision even though he's fairly certain of it. As it is, Loki stands to lose too much if he did entertain even just the idea.

Not that he wants to. Thanos is a type of insane Loki wants very little to do with right now. When exactly did that happen, he wonders. Probably after the TVA, meeting Mobius, meeting Sylvie.

Probably. ]

It helps, [ he admits, because that's true. It does help. It would help better if Mobius wasn't hurt and incapacitated as a result of all this, but Loki doesn't want to harp on that fact. Mobius is here, and alive, and Loki cares about him greatly so.

It does help. ] I wish you weren't hurt. [ But that's as much as he's going to reiterate that particular desire. ] Let's talk about something else. Something other than variants and Thanos and dangerous bullshit, please.

[favoriteanalyst]

Okay.

[Please. Even if it's all Mobius can really think about. Variants and Thanos and dangerous bullshit, and Loki putting himself in danger, and bleeding bad, and still carrying him to safety. Holding tight to each other. Mayhem and death and icy cold.

What else are they going to talk about while lying in, more or less, a hospital bed?

They could talk about how comfortable Loki is, maybe. In spite of his angles. That he's warm and welcoming and cozy. That Mobius would like to stay here for a long time like this.

He does not say that.]

So...see any good movies lately?

[Default to bad humor, apparently, is what he's chosen to do in this situation instead.]

[icasm]

[ A soft snort. Alright, fair; he opened the floor to this ridiculousness. ]

Can't say that I have. [ Have they watched any movies together recently? If so, Loki was probably much too busy either imagining or realizing Mobius' dick in his mouth to pay attention to the screen. ] I imagine you like campy horror, but maybe that's just because of the Jet-Ski obsession. Which would not fall into the category of 'good movies', by the by.

[ Just in case he was wondering. ]

What, [ he starts to ask and then grows suddenly self-conscious, clearing his throat and swallowing for a moment before he turns away and picks up the water glass with a straw, taking a sip before offering Mobius the same glass and straw. ] I want to move in with you, [ comes out in a rush before he can decide it's better left unsaid, for now, and then he adds: ] Though you're welcome to tell me it's a terrible idea.

[favoriteanalyst]

Hey, [a mild protest, because this is silly and they both recognize it] what do jet skis have anything to do with campy horror? [And there's probably a fun little argument and moment of discovery to be had in talking about something as small as movie genre preferences, but he's not sure--might be better to drop it and come back around when they've exhausted other options, maybe.

And maybe it's better to do so because Loki starts in on something that's apparently awkward, something that makes him nervous, something he isn't sure how to say. Takes a sip, offers it to Mobius, who dutifully also sips gently, and then it all comes to light.

Mobius has a coughing fit lest water suddenly get sucked down the wrong way.

In spite of whatever painkillers he's got thrumming through his system, the effort jostles his healing wound enough to make him wince, press a hand to it as though that'll stop it all as he tries to cough the last drop of water from his lungs.]

In spite- [no hold on he has a little more to do] In spite of that reaction, that's not a no, promise.

[icasm]

[ There's nothing quite so helpless a feeling as when you've caused someone else to forget how to breathe and swallow simultaneously and knowing there's nothing you can do about it but lay there and rub circles into someone's back. Naturally, this is what Loki does, along with concerned peering into Mobius' face like he's worried the man might asphyxiate. ]

So you don't think it's a terrible idea? [ He asks once he's had a moment to process and Mobius has had that self-same moment in order to catch his breath. He didn't know what he expected, seeing as how Mobius has a way of surprising him at nearly every turn when it comes to matters like these, but this wasn't quite it.

He tilts his head at the other man. Say more words; you like those, don't you? ]

[favoriteanalyst]

I've heard worse ideas. Out of your mouth, even.

[Is it smart? Well, nobody said that. That doesn't make it a terrible idea, though. They already spent so much time together, including sleeping, including more than sleeping. Loki had been learning the little details of Mobius' place, and they even made the little shower space work.]

Not like you've got a lot of furniture or personal items to move. [Something niggles, though. Something Loki had said, something important but set aside. What was it...?] Besides...you said they know?

[icasm]

[ Loki's eyes break from Mobius', taking in the shape of his nose, his lips. ]

I was, [ a beat, ] panicked, more than just a little, when you passed out and they made me leave to get looked at. I didn't threaten anyone... directly. [ Indirectly? Definitely. But he feels like he should have been allowed, he was worried. ] They wouldn't tell me what was happening, at first. Or if you were going to be okay.

I don't... imagine my behavior looked like that of just a worried subordinate. I wouldn't let them treat me until they told me what was happening with you.

[favoriteanalyst]

Loki. [Light admonishment. And a little dazed, dizzy even, from the power of his care.] You should've gotten checked out right away. I wasn't going anywhere.

[Still not going anywhere now, at least not without more rest. The very idea of getting to his feet seemed like a daunting task when he could instead just be here.] They probably didn't even know if I was gonna be okay. They needed you out of the way so you wouldn't fuss and contaminate the area while they worked. Besides...it's no secret we're friends. That you care.

[More than that, now, but that was the whole issue, wasn't it? That it had evolved and escalated.]

[icasm]

[ He bites his lower lip and meets Mobius' eyes again. ]

I needed to know that you were going to be alright. That they were doing everything they could for you. [ He shakes his head a little. ] I wasn't dying, and if I was, I'd died before; it wasn't the same, or as important.

[ Loki knows how that sounds, he can hear it in himself now, but it's neither untrue nor does he find himself sorry about it. ]

We're friends. [ That much is certain. ] But we're more than friends at this point. I more than care, at this point.

[favoriteanalyst]

They weren't gonna let me just die on the table, Loki. I am relatively well liked. More or less. I'm not hated, anyway. They're medics; of course they were doing everything they could.

[And yes, what Loki says about himself doesn't sit well with Mobius, even if it's all technically true. And in his state, he feels vulnerable. Not physically (well, yes, most certainly physically), but emotionally, like Loki will be able to see inside of him the way he does to Loki. He shuts his eyes with a little huff of a sigh, his only response to Loki's lack of self-preservation, and tucks his face more into Loki's shoulder.]

I more than care about you, too. Do we wanna use a certain word for it, are we at that point?

[icasm]

'It' being our feelings or 'it' being the relationship between the two of us, because either way, yes. We are at that point. You nearly died, [ he says in a rush, ] and I'm not... I'm still worried this is a dream I'm having and you're not actually alright and being obtuse and oddly adorable against my shoulder right now.

[ Does he really think he's dreaming? Well. Worse dreams have been had, certainly. He presses his nose to the top of Mobius' head, takes a deep breath, and tries to stop his brain from spinning off in some strange direction. ]

I like words. [ Specific words, flowery words, words that describe what he's up to. ] You know this about me.