what if...I took a basic meme premise and made it fucky - for icasm

[favoriteanalyst]

[He keeps things from Loki, of course.

Not the important things, the pertinent things. Everyone has their secrets, and no one is ever truly an open book. (Regardless of how well he knows Loki. Extenuating circumstances.) And while Loki has slowly gotten to learn more about how the TVA works, he isn't privy to every detail. He's genuinely curious sometimes. And maliciously curious at other times. Mobius tries to strike a balance, let him know or learn on his own the things he can, steer clear of the things he shouldn't.

So while he's Mobius' partner, something of a junior agent in his own right with several, several caveats, he also doesn't need to know about every aspect of his job.

It's harder when it's another Loki variant that comes across his desk. Sylvie is a point of...contention? A special case, that's for certain. Dangerous, yes, and well worth his involvement, but...different. Not, as such, a case at all anymore, not really. But this one's fairly cut and dry. He frowns when he looks through the casefile. Because Loki shouldn't be anywhere near this one.

Variant L1952 took a different turn after being picked up by Thanos. A mix of biding his time too long, the effects of the mind stone, some powerful persuasion, and a budding army of zealots - this one turned from desperate survivalist wannabe conqueror into a fullblown child of the Mad Titan. It's not pretty, the way things devolve for the variant from there, at least as far into the branch as they've been able to track. The trickiest part is how this one seems to elude their immediate grasp. He's slippery and powerful and needs another set of eyes to make a plan of action to find him and take him in with as little injury to the hunters as possible. The scepter is a tremendous artifact with a stone of great ability if used right (and he can see it now, a trophy in Ravonna's office, and the thought hurts more than he thinks it should), and even when Gamora and Nebula aren't around, or Proxima Midnight and the rest, there's still a Chitauri army to contend with.

It's the kind of thing where he realizes he could use Loki's insight on this, too. Not just for it being a Loki variant - Mobius has seen many come and go without issue before. There's a combination of who it is, and the circumstances surrounding him, and not to mention Thanos in play, that makes him realize that a little help might be prudent for expediency's sake.

He doesn't want to let Loki know. It's...delicate. The kind of thing that his Loki is still relatively fresh from, that might still bleed as an open wound. But Loki's a nosy little shit, and he has noticed a new case that he has decidedly not been specifically on, so there are questions. And he hates this. But. But.

Stonyfaced, he hands Loki the file.] You're not gonna like it.

Comments

[favoriteanalyst]

Bullshit. [At least he can manage that much without much conscious thought, Loki's hand warm in his trembling one. Will it be fine? They're back, they're safe, and they'll get medical treatment. Surely it'll be fine.

He's never thought too terribly hard about dying, or at least, whenever those type of thoughts creep in, he is quick to ignore them or store them away. There's only so much treatment to be done on the spot, doing their damnedest to stifle the immediate bleeding. There's a gurney (and in spite of the retro-future appearance, the hilariously outdated analogue style of everything, the TVA is not actually completely backwards--this floats, for instance, hovering for a smoother ride and easier transport) that he's lowered down onto, even as other helping hands take off his vest, none too gently rip his shirt further to get at the bloody mess of a wound. Everyone should be thankful, he thinks, that that stupid fucking spear thing at least has a shockingly sharp tip rather than a broad blunt end shoved in with godlike strength. Better that it was low on him, rather than in the chest, or a swipe across the throat, or it stabbed completely through and through--

He's going to have some answering to do for the way this mission went so sideways, but he's going to have to live first before he can get chewed out.

One of the medics not trying to fuss at Loki instead tries to pry him gently away.] Sir, I'm going to have to ask that you come with us so we can get you seen to. [Also as well as wheeling Mobius out. Do not let Loki run alongside in his state.]

[icasm]

[ Mobius says 'bullshit' and Loki can't help but bark out a laugh, which is possibly one of the worst ideas he's had since entering the Timedoor because it causes his side to hitch in a lot of very sharp pain almost immediately. He squeezes Mobius' hand instead of arguing with him, though, and then there's a medic pulling him away and he doesn't want to let go. ]

Okay, [ he says, because he's suddenly too tired to fight about it, but: ] I want to be in the same room as Mobius [ is out of his mouth a second later, because he's... terrified, honestly, that something is going to happen while he's not there. Something will go wrong, Mobius has already lost too much blood, they won't let Loki in to see him; the possibilities are endless.

The medic clearly wants to argue with him on the subject, but someone else nods, and so they're off. ]

[favoriteanalyst]

[The journey is made in a daze. Time always works differently in the TVA, but even with that knowledge, it still feels like seconds-minutes-hours are all jumbled up. Lights go by. There are too many voices for him to focus on any one (and if they aren't Loki, he doesn't want to hear it anyway), and in spite of the pressure and the immediate attempts to stopper up the bleeding, he finds himself cold, like the chill of the ice world has made a home of his bones.

And what'll happen to Loki if his body's stupid enough to kick it? There might be some pity, some leniency for his assistance, maybe even possibly a genuine offer to take him on. More likely not. More likely something worse, and he'll make some daring escape and go find Sylvie in the big wide timeline, and move onward.

It's the last coherent thought he remembers.

He'll be told, later, when he's properly conscious and truly awake for a while, about being stitched back up from the inside out. That he's damned lucky the damage wasn't worse/deeper/just a hair to the left or right or up or down, that he would've bled out worse and faster, that he gave them a hell of a scare, that it was touch and go for a while, that he never should put himself in a situation like that again.

There are things the nurses and doctors and fellow agents won't tell him. But Loki might.

It's his first coherent thought he's consciously aware of when he wakes: Loki. The second is that he's still cold. Not, perhaps, the bone-deep Jotunheim-and-bloodloss type of chill, but still chilly enough to notice. The lights are dim, thankfully, and the bed isn't uncomfortable. He's aware of an ache, just a general all over ache, distantly, beyond whatever painkillers he's probably been given, and that he desperately wants to stretch out every muscle and pop every joint he's got, and that his mouth is dry as a desert.

And he comes right back around to his partner. He tries once, twice, and then manages to make sound happen in his rough throat.]

Loki?

[A small sound. It's entirely possible the mischief maker is elsewhere. Getting treated himself, or popped out for food, or simply...not here. But it's also entirely possible that Loki is here, somewhere, waiting for him.]

[icasm]

[ On the other side of the room from Mobius' bed there's a chair. One of those semi-stuffed, soft enough to be comfortable on the eyes but not on the body, at least not for extended periods of time; they aren't meant to inspire restfulness, just as much comfort as is required for not complaining about the lack of comfortable chairs. They're definitely not meant to be slept in, and yet this is what has happened; Loki's shoes are off, his socked feet tucked in underneath his body, his chest leaning against the back of the chair while his head is situated with his chin tucked in close to his chest. There's a book on the floor, apparently dropped at some point as it's open and face down without much care for the pages.

He starts at the sound of his name, blinking in the half-light of the room, before he focuses his eyes on the man in the bed who is clearly awake now. Crossing the room happens in an instant, without thought; Loki picks up Mobius' hand from where it has been resting against the blanket over him and laces their fingers together.

His eyes are very green at this moment, as he leans over his friend. ]

Hey. [ Quietly. Like he might disturb Mobius if he's too loud. ] Do you want some water?

[favoriteanalyst]

[Even if he couldn't see or hear him, he'd know by touch alone that it's Loki who takes his hand. Warm. Warm hand, long fingers, terribly pretty eyes, and a voice he's relieved to hear again. Mobius visibly relaxes, which looks more like sagging.

Loki who carried him to relative safety; Loki who put himself on the line when he didn't have to; Loki who was also wounded, bleeding, in pain; Loki who's stayed by his side for god knows why.

(Obvious reasons aside. Who else will care about him enough to take him under their wing?)

He tries again to speak, thinks better of it. Everything feels akin to a muddy mix of sand and glue, so rather than immediately verbally express how glad he is that Loki's here, that he's okay, he merely nods at the question. It's enough, while he's still scrabbling desperately for full consciousness, to know that Loki's alive and has been, apparently, waiting for him.]

[icasm]

[ There's a bedside table; on it are a set of glasses, one with a metal straw, and a pitcher of water with ice. Loki pours water into both of them before he picks up the glass with the straw and holds it towards him with one hand so that Mobius can easily drink.

Loki's eyes don't stay in one place, but they do stay on Mobius for the most part. He looks the other man over, from his hairline down to where the blankets are tucked in around his torso. Mobius looks... appropriate, for someone who just went through a life-threatening ordeal. That doesn't mean he likes the shadows under Mobius' eyes, or how drawn and tired he looks.

He should maybe not say the first thing that comes to mind, and yet, he draws a breath immediately anyway. ]

I think they know. [ About them, he means. It's not like he was being subtle about the level of worry he had about Mobius.

As far as he's concerned, any adult who's ever been involved with anyone else can probably tell why. ]

[favoriteanalyst]

[Probably not the first thing, no.

One thing at a time. He drinks, a few long and greedy sips before that becomes too much all at once, shivers at the cold, remembers to breathe and take it a little easier. At least he feels more awake and a little more human for it, licking chapped lips, knowing his throat isn't going to be full of dust when he next speaks like his body's become an ancient tomb.

Not just yet.

He can parse Loki's concern later, because...because it's important, he's sure, but it's much more important to Mobius to express his own concerns first. They are slightly simpler ideas at the moment. His fingers tighten in Loki's.]

You okay?

[He's not bleeding out nor in his own hospital bed, so. It's a good sign at any rate.]

[icasm]

I'm not bleeding anymore. [ A small nod and sets Mobius' glass down in favor of picking up his own. His other hand is still in Mobius' and he's not letting go. ] They said I'll be fine.

[ That's... shortening what he was instructed to do by quite a lot, actually. He's on medication to curtail any infection, which is a new experience for him, and he can feel where they stitched him back together. He refused sedation for it. It hurts, and it's weird, and he's been told on no uncertain terms he's to stay out of the field until a medical professional has looked him over and cleared him. ]

I'm okay.

[ And with that, he decides... whatever happens, whatever Mobius' higher-ups think about their relationship, he's not going to worry about it right now. ]

How are you feeling?

[favoriteanalyst]

[Mobius frowns. It's that thinky kind of frown, the one that suggests Loki's said something that he needs to come at at a different angle, but he's not here enough to see angles. Just their hands together, those eyes burning green, hair that could use a wash. He'd like to help Loki wash it. Nice hot shower and gentle fingers everywhere. Yeah...

Wait, focus.]

Bullshit you're okay. [So yeah, he'll just be blunt about it.] Probably more okay than me. [A concession. He shifts just a little, less that he's truly uncomfortable and more that he's testing himself out. Sluggish and slow and like a pile of pudding. Probably for the best.

He's not about to say he feels like pudding, though the thought crosses his mind.] Like I got hit by a truck and then backed over a couple times? Guess it was a very sharp truck. Just once. [His other hand flexes, slides over the blanket and doesn't quite get to the outer edges of the injury lest he jostle something, or poke something too hard, or, he's not sure. Do Something Wrong.] Cold sharp truck.

[icasm]

[ Loki is in the middle of drinking his own water when Mobius calls bullshit; he gives the other man's hand a squeeze and raises his eyebrows but does not design to give an immediate response to that.

He's drinking. Give him a second. ]

More okay than you are, [ is confirmed once he's set the glass back down. Instead of continuing to loom over Mobius, feeling ineffectual, he moves to perch himself on the very edge of the bed and closer to Mobius' knee than his hip. To be at his hip would be to sit too close to the wound, and he's feeling... well. Concerned. Nosy, too. He wants to look at it, despite having no medical training of his own beyond what it takes to stop someone from bleeding out on a battlefield, and that's not exactly a helpful desire or safe instinct to indulge at the moment, by Loki's measure. ] I didn't let them sedate me. [ He gives a half shrug. ] You, on the other hand, passed out.

[ Not that he thinks the doctors would have allowed Mobius the choice. ]

I'm glad you weren't, actually, hit and run over by a truck. [ That would involve resetting various broken bones, of which Mobius has none currently, and Loki is more than happy to take that boon where he can get it. Healing from broken bones is a miserable, time-consuming experience he wouldn't wish on anyone he gave two shits about.

His free hand comes up, brushes some strand of Mobius' hair from his brow, and then just... stays on his face. Loki's nostrils flare, and his eyes get a little wider than they were a moment before.

He is not going to cry now, he tells himself, and knows it is going to be a near thing at best. ]

[favoriteanalyst]

Was bleeding a little harder than you. [Rest assured that Loki was definitely bleeding a concerning amount at a rapid rate. No one will deny that.] It's supposed to be on the inside, not. [He lifts his free hand for a moment, as if to wave the thought aside.] Everywhere.

[He'd like to admonish Loki for not taking something, but he thinks he gets it, or at least some of it. Later, when he's a little bit more present in himself, he'll have to ask Loki about the healing without magic. The TVA isn't medieval about it; they can take care of their own. But with science and technology and medicine and not, decidedly, anything magical.

Nor will he suggest he might've liked the truck a little better than watching someone with Loki's face make that horrible expression and gleefully tear into him. Just personal preference at that point.

Loki's gentle and caring, and Mobius closes his eyes for a moment, leaning his face into the hand cradling there. It's a soft and cozy comfort that maybe he wouldn't necessarily indulge himself in but sees no reason not to now. When he blinks his eyes back open, they lock on Loki's, that expression, and Mobius sighs a little.]

Hey. I'm here. 's okay. Won't be dying on your watch, Nurse Loki.

[icasm]

[ Loki hasn't yet fully processed just how fucked up it was for Mobius to have to deal with being attacked by someone with his lover's face. It'll be a new and terrible realization for him later, probably, and more evidence that he should have fought harder to keep Mobius back at the TVA, where he could have been kept safe.

Paired with the knowledge that nothing he could have said or done would have been likely to convince Mobius to stay behind means it'll be so much fun to attempt to avoid discussing at some following point in time. ]

You shouldn't be allowed to tell me it's okay when it very much is not okay. [ His voice comes out steadier than he feels. His hand remains where it is. Nothing, as far as he can measure, about today was 'okay'. It was a shitshow from beginning to end, and if he properly worked for the TVA, he's sure that he'd be given a box to collect his various personal items in and told to get the hell out.

Fortunately, or unfortunately? He doesn't, and hasn't been given the boot. Likely those higher up have simply decided to just set the blame at Mobius' feet instead. Once he's better, probably. His brain has wrapped itself around the idea that Mobius' odds in the likelihood of long-term survival probably go down the longer he's involved with Loki, a Loki, any Loki not just him, and that thought is currently at war with everything in him that just wants to keep the man safe for fuck's sake.

He doesn't know what to do with it. How to get it to stop or resolve itself into some thought he can actually use. So for a moment he just stares at Mobius, throat working around thoughts that won't come out from behind his teeth, and then he leans forward (carefully, mindful of the wound and the healing and all of it) and bends his lanky frame until he can kiss Mobius on the lips. Loki's breath comes out shakily afterward, but he doesn't immediately straighten up or pull away. ]

[favoriteanalyst]

[When he's a little more cognizant of the details around him and processing the implications, he will likely make heavier note of the eye color. Contrast it to blue, to sparkling blue, to icy blue, to glowing dancing unhinged blue.

But not, obviously, right this moment. Because Loki's right. Nothing's actually okay, save for the fact that they're somehow alive. And the rest of their team is dead. The whole thing went south, even if he doesn't have any answers to how it could've gone better, honestly, and he's going to be responsible.

They'll burn that bridge when they get there, possibly while in the middle of crossing it.

Right now he's focused on how upset Loki looks. How there's a lot going on inside his head and has chosen not to express any of it in words. Given that it means a kiss, Mobius can't exactly complain, though it means he can't do much to help with the internal war. He's not in a place where he can pin Loki down with a look and deduce his thoughts at a glance. He's in a place where there's a tickle to Loki's hair where it brushes, where he adores his partner, where one simple kiss is the best thing he's felt in days, where he can see Loki trying not to come apart at the seams.

He reaches his free hand up to brush back some of that hair, a small mimic of Loki's earlier action.]

And either you shouldn't be allowed to be so warm, or I'm not allowed to be so cold. C'mere. [He doesn't scoot very much, but the intent is there at least. Making fractionally more room on the bed.] You'll be careful.

[icasm]

[ It would be, not easy exactly, but a comforting thing to express what's going on in his head and have Mobius take it apart, piece by piece, until Loki on longer felt uncertain about how things might go. Mobius is good at that, he knows.

But there's a part of him that is blaming himself for the way this went, for dead...not friends, exactly, because it goes Mobius and B-15 and but people who would've listened to him, for the trouble Mobius will definitely be in once it's been decided that he's well enough to be in trouble. That part of him does not desire absolution. It just wants to be dismayed, angry, hurt. Afraid.

So he'll indulge it, for now, and will not ask Mobius to help him work through it. Not as long as he's in this bed.

It'll probably be fine.

Loki sets his hip down against the mattress carefully, putting one arm beneath is head and the other laces its fingers with Mobius' and rests on his chest. ]

You are cold. [ As used to colder temps as Loki is, he hadn't really processed it at first. He presses his nose to Mobius' temple, before following that gesture with a kiss, and breathes in the scent of the other man beneath the hospital cleansers on his skin. ]

[favoriteanalyst]

[It probably won't be fine, but he prefers to think of it being fine instead. Just because it'll feel better for the time being that way.

Because it feels better already to have Loki pretending like he can relax in this bed with him, pressed to him, gently kissing him. Warm and comforting. Some kind of magical beacon of hope or something like that. Better than ice and snow beneath him, cutting wind.

Doesn't want to think about it. Can't help but to think about it, under the circumstances. Mobius breathes in as deep as he can stand to, holds it for a moment. Considers his words.]

Is he gone?

[icasm]

Yes.

[ As much as anyone that the TVA deals can be gone. He was processed, put in front of a judge, sent to the End of Time. Without his staff and thus the source of a lot of his power. His timeline has been weeded out. It's all been neatly handled, on that end.

Doesn't seem very fair by Loki's measure. The variant was responsible for so much death, so much suffering. To maybe survive Alioth and go on about his business (kind of) seems like too gentle a response.

But he knows? Suspects, at least, that Mobius takes some form of comfort in the way that the TVA handled dangerous people. How could he not, after being a part of that system for some countless measure of time?

He shifts a little, kisses Mobius' cheek. ]

He's gone.

[favoriteanalyst]

[Mobius melts into the mattress a little more, nods at the confirmation. Closes his eyes and tries not to see that look of pain-joy-hatred-ecstacy-madness behind his lids. Shivers in spite of himself.]

Good. Good. That one was a real menace. [He turns his head enough to about be nose to nose with Loki. His Loki. His Loki that he recognizes, and yet, for a split second, he thinks he sees--]

He hurt you. [Hurt both of them, deeply, but that's not the point he wants to consider.] So he can rot for all I care.

[icasm]

[ When Mobius shivers Loki moves the arm under his head to snake beneath and around Mobius's shoulders. Keeping them close to one another. It worries him, this lingering coldness, but he tries telling himself it's probably normal, all things considered.

They should get him a heavier blanket though. If that didn't mean moving, he'd do it himself, now. ]

He was insane, [ Loki states simply, and then scoffs through his nose. ] He hurt you worse. I'm not inclined to forgive him of that, but I feel like 'maybe being eaten by Alioth' is not a strong enough sentence.

[favoriteanalyst]

[He manages to shift a little more, almost a roll, not quite on his side but not quite on his back, whatever, good enough. It lets him nuzzle his face into Loki's shoulder. Because it's nice to be held. It's...nice not to have to ask for it. Because he wanted it, but making those words happen, it shouldn't be hard, but it is. There's so much to say and so much not to say.]

Maybe if we got him sat down at a table, maybe if I could talk to him, I could've gotten somewhere. [And maybe that's too optimistic. He's seen many a Loki, knows that there are some that just aren't worth the effort. Still. The possibility was there. In spite of everything.] We lost a lot of good people to him. [In spite of that, for instance.] Shit.

[icasm]

[ Oh. This is nice. This is helping that gnawing sensation in the pit of his stomach, the way that Mobius has his face against Loki's shoulder, and even though it's been ages since Loki has wanted to take care of anyone, he wants to take care of Mobius now. Protect him from all manner of things, help him to heal and to rest. ]

Maybe. [ A breath. That shit is something, isn't it? Something Loki should be mindful of. ] Maybe he would have just attempted to kill you over and over for the attempt.

I don't know, Mobius. He's crazy, and not just in the way that all Lokis are crazy. [ A lot has gone wrong there. ] I'm not saying it's impossible, I just... don't like the odds. [ That something terrible would happen, that Mobius would get hurt, that Loki, child of Thanos, would enact some long con just to get close to people he could later find ways to destroy. ]

Not being able to convince him to do something different isn't a failure on your part, you know, [ he adds softly. ]

[favoriteanalyst]

Just...thought I saw something. [And even that could have been a ruse. Or, no matter what he saw, that variant was simply too far gone to reason with. He gets that. And trying or not trying wouldn't have changed what happened.] Or maybe he was just pissed I was insulting his dad.

[Flippant, yes, but even the barest attempt at sardonic humor feels better than wallowing in what's going to gnaw away at him for a while. He squeezes Loki's hand.]

You okay? [So clearly time to change topics/switch tactics.] I mean emotionally. Can't be an easy thing fighting yourself. [A dark mirror, something he could have become with a change, by chance.]

[icasm]

[ Should Loki ask what it was, exactly, that Mobius thought he saw? He's of two minds about it (or at least two, anyway). One, he is curious about the ability to...rehabilitate versions of himself, for lack of a better word. Does the possibility exist in every variation, as Mobius seems to believe, or are there thresholds that once crossed cannot be traversed again?

Two, he doesn't want to feed whatever is going on in Mobius' mind about what is or isn't his fault, in this scenario.

He squeezes Mobius' hand back, raising the shoulder not on the bed in a sort of half-shrug. ]

I don't know. [ Honesty. ] Mostly I'm angry right now. [ Because Mobius was hurt, because people died, because it was all so unnecessary in the greater scheme of things. ] I suppose later I'll be more worried about the implications there. Wonder how easily he fell into the oblivion of Thanos' promises.

[favoriteanalyst]

We know his history. [Both in the fact that Loki's lived that life, more or less, until the turning point, and the files on the variant.] It's... [Awful. Not too far from the truth that Loki lived, too. Mobius huffs out a sigh, and even that makes him wince, just a little.] You're not like that. And you aren't going to be.

[He's sure of it. Absolutely certain. He's far beyond the reach of any Thanos. But Mobius' brow furrows, sorting through everything as best as it can. The anger's...mild, his own anger that is. It's a subtle and slow thing, and he's sure it'll rear its ugly head at some point down the line, probably during something completely unrelated. Now, though, it's more just resignation. Exhaustion. The feeling of failure. Did the ends justify the means?]

Would've gone worse if you weren't there. [He can't tell Loki not to be angry. But it's a different expression of anger, and he doesn't quite know what to do with it. Wants to soothe, doesn't have the means.] 'm not gonna say it's okay again. It's not. It sucks. But I'm here. Does that...help?

[icasm]

[ Knowing an arrangement of facts about someone's life in a timeline isn't the same as knowing when he made the decision to stay there. To become one of Thanos' children, to further that motive into the universe himself, with his own hands. And it's so easily said that he won't make the same decision even though he's fairly certain of it. As it is, Loki stands to lose too much if he did entertain even just the idea.

Not that he wants to. Thanos is a type of insane Loki wants very little to do with right now. When exactly did that happen, he wonders. Probably after the TVA, meeting Mobius, meeting Sylvie.

Probably. ]

It helps, [ he admits, because that's true. It does help. It would help better if Mobius wasn't hurt and incapacitated as a result of all this, but Loki doesn't want to harp on that fact. Mobius is here, and alive, and Loki cares about him greatly so.

It does help. ] I wish you weren't hurt. [ But that's as much as he's going to reiterate that particular desire. ] Let's talk about something else. Something other than variants and Thanos and dangerous bullshit, please.

[favoriteanalyst]

Okay.

[Please. Even if it's all Mobius can really think about. Variants and Thanos and dangerous bullshit, and Loki putting himself in danger, and bleeding bad, and still carrying him to safety. Holding tight to each other. Mayhem and death and icy cold.

What else are they going to talk about while lying in, more or less, a hospital bed?

They could talk about how comfortable Loki is, maybe. In spite of his angles. That he's warm and welcoming and cozy. That Mobius would like to stay here for a long time like this.

He does not say that.]

So...see any good movies lately?

[Default to bad humor, apparently, is what he's chosen to do in this situation instead.]