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[favoriteanalyst]

Crystal, In Person, Mail, Gifts, etc.

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[icasm]

As much as I enjoy books, i think my bed is more comfortable than the library.

[ A breath. ]

I know that you're not interested in anything other than friendship and I promise this is not an attempt to change your decision, I just. Would rather be somewhere comfortable and familiar.

crystal -> action

[favoriteanalyst]

...I never said that. Is that what you-- [A breath, a sigh, a tired chuckle.] That's a conversation to have in person. Alright. I'll be there soon as the ferry's ready.

[And he's not playing the fun game of meeting at the ferry I'm here what do you mean I'm here no you're not yes I am I'm here though oh you're on the other side, this time, he's just. Going to go. And he remembers how to get to Loki's. He'd stayed there a couple of days in an attempt to sleep better, away from the Gallows. Hadn't worked, and he didn't want to impose longer than necessary.

Starting to wonder if he should have stayed, but also, living in the same place you work is familiar and convenient. Shame it's hard to get any decent sleep because of a nightmare plague, But What Can You Do.

So it shouldn't come as any surprise to get a knock at the door.]

[icasm]

[ It's not a surprise, no.

Loki had been at the dock on the Gallows side when he'd sent the message and debated waiting for Mobius there, but his verbal response left Loki confused about whether or not he'd understood Mobius correctly (He'd said that he hadn't but he'd wanted to and that all was past tense, obviously. Right?) at which point he'd decided that they probably shouldn't have that conversation in person on the Ferry.

So. Home, then, to change into something comfortable and then. Make tea. Because alcohol before Mobius gets there seems like a bad idea.

The knock is expected but still startles, a bit. Either way the door opens and Loki nods, not trusting his words and opting instead to just let Mobius inside. ]

[favoriteanalyst]

[He smiles easy anyway, even if nothing about what's going on right now is easy or is much to smile about, and steps in. Loki's got a nice place. He wonders if he came by it legitimately. Does not ask that. Right now.]

So. [Should he start? Should Loki start?] I never said I wasn't interested.

[icasm]

[ It's Alexandrie's family apartments, so. Not exactly? ]

Oh.

[ He clearly doesn't know what to say to that, frowning slightly. He doesn't feel like much of a catch at the moment, certainly. ]

Would you like some tea? Something stronger?

[favoriteanalyst]

I always want something stronger. Please.

[He's going to follow Loki around, though, so like. Lead the way.] I still have some of your gifts around. I've tried very hard not to finish all of it off all at once.

[icasm]

Whiskey? Scotch?

[ He moves them through the foyer towards a sitting room/library. There is also a kitchen on this floor. The bedrooms are upstairs.

Mobius knows this already though.

The alcohol is in the sitting room, though, so that's the destination right now.

He pours himself scotch as he waits for Mobius' answer. ]

[favoriteanalyst]

Whiskey. Thanks.

[Loki's got the good stuff, the stuff he told Abby is hard to get anywhere but in Hightown unless you know the right people or ask the right questions or say the right thing. It's a vice, sure, but one he owns up to freely.]

You can ask. If you want.

[icasm]

[ Loki pours Mobius his drink and hands him the glass, his brow furrowed in thought. He takes a sip from his own glass before he decides if he does want to ask.

Why would you is on the tip of his tongue, and then he shakes his head a little to discard the idea. ]

You're still interested?

[ Not that he thinks Mobius was lying. He just... desires clarification. ]

[favoriteanalyst]

[Mobius won't judge Loki for needing a little liquid courage if Loki doesn't judge how quickly Mobius gets that glass to his lips. He doesn't down the whole thing, but Maker, it's good, and the burn wakes him up a little, and maybe he needs a little courage of his own.]

I haven't stopped being interested. It just didn't seem like a good idea for either of us at the time.

[icasm]

[ He keeps the slight frown, swirling his glass and staring at the liquid in it. ]

Does it seem like a good idea now?

[ After he's spent the day crying and being nearly hysterically honest? ]

Or is there a... [ He weighs a hand. ] Waiting period?

[favoriteanalyst]

It seems like an absolutely awful idea right now. It seems like the worst possible time, when you're mourning someone you love who left, and mourning someone you love who's still here but mad at you, while none of us are really in our right minds.

[He would not have put it in that way, but it's honest, so fuck it.]

But you knew that already, so you asked that knowing I would answer in the negative, because you hate yourself and want to wallow in the feeling like you've convinced yourself nobody wants you.

Which I don't really appreciate. By the way. I am not a rock to bash yourself against.

[icasm]

[ Loki's frown becomes sharper and he doens't meet Mobius' eyes for a moment, deciding instead to finish the liquid in his glass. ]

Sorry. [ Because Mobius is right, that's more or less exactly what he did. ] It would be a nice distraction, however. [ A one-shouldered shrug. ] From everything else right now.

[favoriteanalyst]

Do you think there's any chance we might fall asleep during?

Though I guess the answer is, 'not if we're doing it right', huh.

[icasm]

[ A soft laugh. ]

I wouldn't be too upset if we did.

[favoriteanalyst]

I'd have fallen asleep worse places than inside you. [Oh, we're definitely taking a big drink with that particular image.]

It'd be a fun distraction, yeah. And still a very bad idea. I think you might wake up in the morning feeling like you used me, and I think I might wake up in the morning feeling like I took advantage of you.

[icasm]

[ Loki closes his eyes but it doesn't stop the shudder that chases across his shoulders at those first words of Mobius'.

He doesn't open them as he speaks. He's not sure he wants to see what Mobius' expression will do at what he has to say next. ]

What if we didn't? Feel that way, in the morning. What if we recognized that we were being honest and wanted something from each other?

[ Loki opens his eyes. ]

What if it's not just about tonight?

[favoriteanalyst]

[This feels like dangerous ground he's standing on. Like it could quake under his feet, like it could crack into an endless chasm. He finishes his drink, sets the glass down, holds it there. Turns it back and forth and doesn't look at Loki.]

What would it be about if not just tonight?

[icasm]

You asked me, before, if there's a line between friendship and lovers, and right now, for me, there isn't much of one. Perhaps in part due to the fact that I haven't had many friends before coming here, and my interactions with lovers tended to be brief and didn't last.

So having friends is new. Having lovers who stick around and... care, is also new.

[ He sighs, a little. ]

I don't know if I'm making much sense. But you are my friend, and I am attracted to my friends, for whatever that's worth. I'm not asking for one night's distraction.

If that is more or less what you're interested in then... [ A shrug. ] We probably shouldn't.

[favoriteanalyst]

[The spinning of the glass turns into a light tap and finally pulls his hand away and looks up at Loki. Assesses him.

It isn't that friends who are also lovers appalls him or anything. He's not, however, sure that Loki sees a difference between friendship and love, and that's...different. Lovers don't have to be in love. And Loki's entire situation is so complicated.

He'd only be another complication. Right now. But Loki seems convinced that he wants this. Just because he's a good friend? Is that all that it is?]

Did you happen to know me before you came to Thedas?

[It sounds insane to him even after it comes out of his mouth. But Sylvie said she knew him. A him. A variant. And she knew Loki. A variant of her, or vice versa.

He's never had any idea how much of what she says is true. But what better way to find out than to ask now? At least as far as Loki understands.]

[icasm]

[ Loki blinks, and then peers at the carpet beneath his feet. ]

Yes.

[ He takes a breath. ]

We were friends. My first friend, really, who knew everything terrible thing I'd ever done and still... [ A shrug. ] Cared? And told me I could be someone better if that's what I wanted.

[favoriteanalyst]

[That he knows about the Loki and family that are native here, that he knows about Loki and Sylvie, softens the blow. But it's still something...to reconcile with. At some point. That not only is he not unique, but that two people he cares deeply about are already familiar with him. With a variant of him.

He keeps his eyes locked on Loki.]

Does however you feel about him color how you feel about me?

[icasm]

I trust him. So I was predisposed to trust you.

[ Is that what Mobius is asking? Probably not. ]

I don't know if I was attracted to him, honestly. [ He shrugs his shoulders with a grumpy expression. ] I was too wrapped up in Sylvie and he had his own path to follow.

[favoriteanalyst]

[He furrows his brow.] But you're not too wrapped up in Sylvie now. In her or in Alexandrie. Even though you also are attracted to your friends, and he was your friend.

[icasm]

He was my first friend, and... I've had more time to think about it. What it means to have friends. Here. I've been here for a year, nearly? And everything has changed, everything I am, everything I took for granted about myself, about other people, about what I knew to be true.

There are similarities. Things that remain constant between the Mobius I know and you. But you're not exactly the same person, and it's not exactly the same role in my life. I've lived a long time, making plans, and then I gave up on plans, and just tried my best, and now... I don't know. Where the balance is.

You're worried that I'm projecting. [ He doesn't really know what to do with that. ] Loving Sylvie taught me that I could care for someone outside of my own plans for their usefulness, but my friendship with Mobius taught me that I could do that and still be... myself.

[ He shakes his head, and pours himself another drink. ]

Do you want another drink?